Hello

Hello, it's been awhile. I've been thinking about the way I used to be. Believe it or not there are times when I used to be happy. Truly happy. Little kid happy.Now, I'm cynical and mean. I don't mean to be it's just at some point I just forgot how to behave. I hide away. I used to work at job where everyone there was apathetic and cynical about everything and I used to FUCKING hate those guys. Now I'm one of them. What the fuck?

Crazy Heart

I watched the movie "Crazy Heart" and there was a part in the movie that really got to me. Jeff Bridges played a star country music song writer that had abandoned his first child. He was now officially a drunk and a fuck up. When he called his son after 30 yrs. of absence his son hung up on him. And when he talked about how stupid it was to call his son now...Robert Duvall's character said , "You were WRONG. But now your doing the RIGHT thing. So, keep calling him." I never thought there could be redemption after 30 yrs. of doing the wrong thing but I have to admit Rob's got me thinking. Gives me hope.

Loose Ends

Today I saw a news story that took me back. A woman was attacked by her husband with a power drill. He stabbed her in the back with the drill just missing her kidney. The D.A. in Floyd county In. refused to press charges or even talk about the case with the media. In Louisville a Bellarmine student gave birth to a still born child and subsequently charged with murder because the baby was discovered in a toilet. Both of these cases are almost laughable unless your the woman that spent needless months in jail because you gave birth to an already deceased baby or the woman with a drill sticking out of your back. But then again the only people that take victims rights seriously are victims. Call me if your stabbed, beaten or shot and tell me I'm wrong.

The show "Undercover Boss" needs to be renamed "Shit really does roll downhill". Or "Instead of Getting You Health Insurance I Bought a Boat". Or "How Bout a Raise Ya Cheap Bastard". All that phony feel goodery may make people feel good but it still doesn't help anybody making minimum wage.

Back to Work

I've been dealing with a foot injury for a year now. I hurt it running and I ran with the pain for about 6 mos. Then I quit running and focused on lifting. I love to workout. The sweat. The pump and the burn. The war. Caesar has come back from the dead to smash all the steel left in the world. To conquer. It's hard to feel that way when you aren't healthy. Except I got a shot in my foot that's supposed to take care of it. I've been on simmer for too long and now it's time for me to boil over. I've been polite and respectful...and that isn't me. My body is brick. My heart is made of barb wire and c4. My blood Jack Daniels and battery acid. She used to tell me I was a snake. She's gone. Snake is back.

Well and Good

I'm feeling well and good lately. I'm not drinking. I'm exercising. I'm digesting responsibly. It's all well and good. Really. I'm sleeping well. Taking care of myself...I think that's what they call it. I'm pretty sure I haven't done anything to embarass myself in almost a month. When I do drink I rely on the distortion. Not distorted thinking. Its like comforting background noise. Turn your t.v. on. Tune it to one of those stations that are nothing but fuzz. Turn the volume to an acceptable level and just chill. This always comforting buzz...Now my buzz is gone. In many ways.

Random Thoughts (Emotional Vomit)

Healthcare for everyone!!! Praise Jesus. If your young go play. If you're fat go for a run and for god's sakes eat a fucking vegatable every once in a while. Brush and floss your teeth. At least floss is easy to steal if your broke. If your old lift weights. If you eat fast food more than twice a month and you say your on a diet someone needs to kick your ass. If you smoke quit being a fucking coward and go ahead and kill yourself so we don't have to foot the bill you selfish prick.
Is it just me or does Obamacare sound just a little racist?
Indiana is closing a bunch of schools because they are broke. Why do lawmakers pretend to care about future generations when they clearly could care less? No one wants cuts to Medicare or Medicaid but lets face it there won't be any Medicare or Medicaid or Social Security when we get to that age. It would be cool if the teacher just told you you were totally fucked by your parents and your grandparents. Man fuck this....

Sad But True

This is me...hopelessly glaring down to the bottom of an empty Jack Daniel's bottle. Shallow sleepy breaths. What to do? What to do? And now I have it. Inspiration! Turkey on wheat. So often I find inspiration bursting forth from my stomach and my all time favorite attachment. Much less from that powerful machine that supposed to be the boss of everything. Sad but true.